The Chopper Fic...

In Central HQ, a rather unenthusiastic colonel was slumped over his desk. Papers coated his desk, folding over the sides and spilling onto the floor. And he just sat there. Bored. His ebony eyes glazed over in disconcern, completing the bored ensemble that is his current expression. Military personnel’s heavy boots clacking against the cold tile in the hall would momentarily awake the Flame from his bored slumber. But soon after the boots in the hall were no more than an vanishing echo, he would be back in his previous, oblivious state, staring blankly at an invisible something imbedded in the office wall.

It seemed like another, usual late-nighter at Eastern HQ.

Well, so it seemed.

The shrill ringing of the old-fashioned phone on his desk startled him, causing him to awaken from his boredom-educed stupor as well as causing him to jump out of his seat a bit. Besides the echo of standard-issue boots in the adjacent hall, it was relatively quiet.

He clasped his gloved hand around the phone. “Hello? Colonel Roy Mustang’s office.” He shook off his ‘just woke up’ voice, and slipped right into his ‘sexy, official voice.’

“Hey. I caught some weirdo.”
“…” Roy paused for a moment. A familiar feminine, yet strong, voice responded to his.

“Err… Hawkeye?” He said in a wary tone.

“Oh, yeah its me. Sorry for calling you so late, but you may want to check this out.”

He scanned her voice for any emotion, but she sounded as stoic as ever, with maybe just the smallest hint of confusion or amusement, and was that annoyance in her tone? For a woman who apparently just caught ‘some weirdo,’ she sounded calm and collected.

He could hear someone on her side of the line. A echo of a cooing, romantic male voice faintly shadowed itself over the phone line, causing Roy to sweat a little and his blood rising in temperature.

“Alright. Where are you, then.” He said, grimacing to try to hide his worry and annoyance at the creep trying to charm Miss Hawkeye.

“I’m at the phone booth at the intersection of Central Avenue and 54th street. Take your time, though. I doubt you need to rush.” She said. She turned around to face the infatuated armored culprit.

“Alright then. Keep that creep away from you.” He added on as he hung up the phone. Although she assured him not to rush, he couldn’t help but to snatch his coat off the rack and bolt down to his car.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Roy’s jaw dropped to the floor. As he stepped out of his car, the sight in front of him was, well, unexpected. Riza, clad in a fitted jacket and knee-length black skirt, with her blonde hair loose and flowing over her shoulders, was sitting on the curb, resting her head on her hand. Next to her, though, was a rather large suit of armor towering about her, decorated with furs and cloths, as well as many large knives. But, he wasn’t murderous. Or menacing. Not even scary.

He was love struck.

The armored soul was murmuring sweetly to the blonde lieutenant, edging himself closer and closer to her slender figure. Despite his size, strength, and multiple assortment of cleavers, she sat there. Sighing. As if this was usual and mundane, and she honestly looked bored. She didn’t even bother to hold a pistol in her hand. She was completely calm.

Roy took a few steps closer to her. “Err… I believe I need to be caught up here, Hawkeye.”

She stood up, smoothing her skirt gently. The armored Romeo stood up right with her. “Good evening, sir. I am very sorry that I had to interrupt you, but I thought that this might be of interest you.” She cocked her gaze, glancing to the clanking suit of armor. “Missy, who is this? Do you need me to chop his ass up?” the echoing voice emanated from the inside of the metal suit. Riza simply shook her head and turned her amber gaze back to her superior officer.

Roy summoned the most commanding, most assertive tone he could muster. “Do you have a name?”  

The armor cocked his head at him “ ’Course. I am Barry. Barry the Chopper.” He said as he turned his full attention back to Riza. “Hey, Missy, what do ya say to the both of us getting out of here. Lets leave Sparky and go somewhere private. Huh Missy? Huh?” Barry cooed and whispered to her as he tried to wrap a chunky, cold arm around her small waist. Roy’s reflexes were quick though, as he clasped  a hand on her shoulder, pulling her near him, then wrapping a protective arm about her shoulders. Riza looked up at him, stunned at his unusual display of affection. Never the less, she did not fight his grasp, but instead played along. This could get interesting.

If the armor had expressions, he would be downright disappointed at Mustang’s display of possessiveness.  “Missy? You aren’t with him, are ya?” He cooed politely to her.

With his arm still around Riza’s shoulders, Roy slipped a hand into his pocket, yanking out a soft, white ignition cloth glove, jerking it onto his hand. “Stand back, Lieutenant. There’s going to be a fire tonight.” An evil and angered expression crept onto his shadowed face and into his voice as he raised his fingers into the lock-and-load position.

“Sir,” she said calmly, raising her dainty hand to gently push is raised, snap-set fingers down. “I do not believe that your flames are necessary. I just think you might want to take him into custody, or at least safe keeping.”

“Riza! He’s carrying around a damn cleaver! What are we going to do with some armored butcher at the Military?”

She sighed. filled him in on all of Barry’s past murders and crimes, about Laboratory 5 and his blood seal. The Barry Murder Saga was long and growing.

As she clued him in, a desperate Chopper groped the air trying to get at Riza, as Roy held a gloved hand against the armor’s helmet, keeping him and his flailing armor arms away from both colonel and lieutenant.

“You would have known at least a bit about this if you would do your damn paperwork for once.” she sighed, scolding him as if he was a child, refusing to do his homework.

“As my First lieutenant, you--” he couldn’t exactly come up with a come-back. Instead, he dropped the subject.

“Ack… fine. Hey, you. Get in the car.” Roy commanded.
“Make me, Sparky.” The armor challenged.
“Barry, get in,” Riza asked, as the armor quietly obeyed with a “Of course, Missy! Are you coming as well? Your commin’, aren’t ya?”

The armor implored as Riza slipped into the seat shotgun to Roy’s. Roy seemed dumbfounded at her control over some rouge, bodiless murderer, as he slipped behind the wheel and drove off to the HQ. All the way there, he had to have Hawkeye reassure him not to burn Barry over all his cooing and attempts at groping.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After assigning the bodiless butcher to Falman, Roy and Riza made there way outside the heavy HQ doors and down the cool marble steps into the chilly night.

Roy started to chuckle as soon as the doors shut tight.

Riza turned to him, “What are you laughing at, Sir?” She said as she smiled at him. ‘God, she is so damn beautiful with her hair down and smiling. She needs to smile much more often. She needs to have her hair down much more, as well…’ His thoughts drifted off as he resumed answering her.

“Its nothing. Its just that you get me to sign papers by firing rounds at my head, and we’ve known each other for over a decade. But you controlled some soul-bound-to-armor butcher/murder with simple words. No weapons. No threats. I just thought it was funny.” He explained as he looked into the deep night sky, chuckling to himself again. “The crook is treated better than your own superior officer.”

A devious smirk crossed her face. “Well, sir. I’m afraid I take special care in commanding my commanding officer. You get special treatment.”

He looked down into her amber eyes, gleaming with reflected moonlight. “Special treatment, eh? I don’t find all the bullet holes in my desk very accommodating. And I‘m quite sure a hospital stay from getting’ my ass shot off is a part of your humble hospitality?”

“Well, sir,” she retorted, “if you would only listen and finish up on time, there will be no need for those bullet holes.” She smiled again. “don’t be so unhappy with our current arrangement. Be glad that I miss.” Now she was laughing as well.

“What do you say to me driving you home?”

Riza smiled up at his raven-colored eyes, “Only if its not too out of your way, thank you.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

During the ride to Hawkeye’s,  they were much more talkative than usual. Pleasant conversation filled the car and lingered in the air. Roy even walked her up the steps to her door once they arrived.

“Thank you very much for the ride, sir. I’m sorry you had to come off work just for this.”

“Hmm? Oh, no that’s fine. Work was slow, and this was, well… interesting, to say the least. I wasn’t getting anything done, anyway…” he said as he turned his face away, hoping she wouldn’t press the cool barrel of her pistol against his skull. He never got any work done while she wasn’t there, anyway.

He turned back at her, only to see a scowling lieutenant suppressing laughter with all her might.

Roy chuckled as Riza changed the subject.

“Colonel, I musty ask about that unusual display of protection earlier today.” She said in a both challenging and curious tone.

He stopped chucking immediately. “Ask what about it?” he tried to state it calmly as he tried to hide a red blush coming across his pale, perfectly sculpted face. Luckily, it was dark enough for silly hints of blush to not become too obvious.

“Well, I don’t know, it was just…. Unusual. I’ve never seen you so, well, protective. You looked like you were ready to toast him after he tried to touch me.”

Now the blush was pulsing across his cheeks. “Err… well, you… Its just…” He took a pause, trying to find his words and sort them carefully. “He’s a damn murderer, Riza! What the hell did you expect? A tea party?” A false anger crept into his tone, guising his true emotions.

“Oh.” She said quietly, looking down a bit.

‘Damn. I can’t keep this façade up much longer.’ his mind told him, as he pent his feelings for her behind a cracking dam.

He sighed. “Damn… that’s not it.” He stepped closer to her, so it seemed like there was almost no air between them. She refused to step back, but instead heard him out. Her curiosity got the best of her.

“Riza, its just that I care about you, and when you call saying you caught some weirdo, all alone at night…“ He paused, playing with a few strands of her hair a bit, “well, it doesn’t really calm the nerves.” He shook his head a bit, knowing that there was way more to it than that.

She smiled up at him. He, for once, let his guard down to someone. He said what was on his mind and in his heart without fear of consequence or rejection.

But Roy could not find his next words. His mouth felt numb with silence as his mind struggled to piece together his feelings into words. But his mind drew a blank, and, instead, his body took over.

He wrapped both arms around her waist; his palms resting in the small of her back. He held her close enough to feel her warmth, but far enough to keep it from being a full embrace.

Riza looked up at him. Her expression was changing from confusion to shock to…… happy?

‘What… was this what she wanted as well?’ Roy’s mind questioned him. He mentally argued with himself. ‘PLEASE! This is Riza! Riza Hawkeye! The girl with the killer aim. She wouldn’t fall for me… She couldn’t love someone like me.’

As two opposing sides of his mind clashed together, he pulled her in closer. In an unconscious movement, she placed her hands on his chest. “Riza…” he whispered in a quiet, deep tone into her hair.

Neither of them could find words to express their multitude of emotions. They just stood there. In each other’s arms.

And they liked it.

Roy pulled back a bit, readjusting his arms to one tight around her waist and the other across her back. He stared deep into her amber irises, which were illuminated by a nearby streetlight. He dipped his face closer to hers, but she held a slender finger to his lips.

“Roy… you know we cant--” she started to explain, but he cut her off with a quick kiss across the lips.

“Damnit, Riza. I don’t care anymore. Its been to long to even try hiding it.” He stated as he pulled her into a warm, close hold; their lips together in their own passionate embrace. All the words that they struggled to say explained themselves in the form of a protective arm around the shoulder, a gesture of possessiveness, and now by means of a close embrace and a perfect, passionate kiss.

They parted after a while, realizing that a breath of air would be a good idea. Riza tilted her head, resting it on Roy’s firm, strong, jacketed chest. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders, as the other remained at her waist. Her own hands were across his back.

After a few moments, Riza started to laugh a bit. He could feel her chuckle against his chest. She pulled out of their touching embrace to cover her smiling mouth. Roy cocked his head to the side. “Did I miss the joke?”

She giggled again. “No.. its just that Barry already told me he loves me. That’s two in one night, an all-time record for me.” She looked back into his eyes, tugging him closer by the collar of his black military jacket. “Now you have someone to compete with, she cooed to him deviously.

“Fat chance.” He stated bluntly. “No one else can have you. Your mine.” He said, resuming his protective, commanding voice, as well as a jestful smirk. Riza laughed again, resting her head on a broad shoulder.

“I thought as First Lieutenant, I was supposed to be the one protecting you. Or did I hear that wrong?”

Roy chuckled a bit, and flashed a trademark smirk that would make any woman swoon in a quarter mile radius. “I believe you got me there, Hawkeye,” He stated, resorting back to his professional approach. “But, just maybe, I can do some of the protecting now, too.” He smiled. He moved closer to her, pressing her against the cold door of her apartment, crating little space between their bodies.

“That would be nice.”

“And.. Maybe you can stop shooting me.”

“Don’t push it.”

“Okay.”